One of the most important things I've learned this year is to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
At the end of last year, a really good friend recommended a daily devotional book to me. I shopped for it at B & N and fumbled upon the orginal book it was based upon, Codependent No More. I bought it and read it and one of the major things I took away from it was that you have to take care of yourself.
Taking care of myself is something that I at the time didn't do a very good job at. I must admit I don't do a great job at it now, but I'm a whole lot better than I was before. I learned from this book, that I wasn't taking care of myself and I was taking care of a whole lotta' other people. (Huh? What is she talking about?) Yes, I was showering and dressing myself, eating, and all of that jazz, but actually taking care of myself, NO! I learned that no one was more important than myself. (Not don't get me wrong, I love my child, but you've got to put on the oxygen mask, before trying to save someone else!) I realized that I was shortchanging myself and running myself ragged. I wasn't focusing on me, just everyone else. So, I stepped back and looked at some areas in which I needed to take care of myself and began there. I must admit I have back slid a few times along the way, but I am striving for PROGRESS not PERFECTION!
Along this journey, I have been very misunderstood. People don't understand why I withdrew myself from relationships, why I put distance between me and certain people/situations, why I made some of the choices and decisions that I did. Well, it was all apart of taking care of myself. I had to do it for myself. I had to take a long look in the mirror at myself. I had to analyze and disect relationships and situations. I had to question myself, my motives, and my intentions. I didn't then or don't feel now that I need to justify making changes and improvements in my life. I feel that it was a necessary process that God lead me through and is still guiding me through.
I must say I'm doing better at taking care of myself. I know I need to step it up even more and take back so much of what I have let go. But I'm on my way. Progress not perfection!
Monday, December 17, 2012
Here we go . . .
So, a few weeks ago I decided I would begin writing about what I have learned this year. I posted in hopes to get back into writing more often. Well, once again I fell off the horse before I got on to good. I realized that posting from my iPad was more difficult than I first thought and that I would have to bring my school laptop home daily in order to keep up. That along with keeping up with household duties and responsibilities, just didn't allow much time for me to sit down and do one of the things I love to do most, write.
Yes, I know it sounds sad . . . A woman doesn't have time to do the things she loves most??? Most women know the feeling and can empathize. Before you go on a tyrant, yes, I know you have to make time and you have to make it a priority, but it doesn't always seem to work that way. Nevertheless, I'm here to make a few entries tonight, since I can't sleep and I have a lot on my mind.
Before you begin reading, go back and read the first entry.
M
Yes, I know it sounds sad . . . A woman doesn't have time to do the things she loves most??? Most women know the feeling and can empathize. Before you go on a tyrant, yes, I know you have to make time and you have to make it a priority, but it doesn't always seem to work that way. Nevertheless, I'm here to make a few entries tonight, since I can't sleep and I have a lot on my mind.
Before you begin reading, go back and read the first entry.
M
Friday, November 30, 2012
Things I've learned this year
Wow, it's been over a year since I've blogged. I sometimes get the urge to write and share my feelings. I've journaled a bit this year, but unfortunately at came to end. But I'm back to blogging for a few days, hopefully the entire month, but we shall see.
So my latest venture I have toiled with for weeks, writing about the things I've learned this year. Now, please let me preface myself with these are my views, thoughts, and feelings. If you don't like it or don't care for what I say you can kick rocks and stop reading. This are view points and thoughts. Please don't feel you need to comment or be negative, because if you don't have anything nice or positive to say I surely don't want to hear. (Sorry, it seems cruel and harsh, but I am just DONE and can't deal with negative people....ain't nobody got time for that!) But on the real, my intention and objective is to share the things I've learned this year. Not about just myself, but life, love, happiness, my relationship with GOD and so much more.
I've been compiling my list in my mind and gathering my thoughts. I thought it might be a fitting way to end the year by publishing them on my blog. So I will begin tomorrow, the first day of December. This is more about me than anything in the world. I like to express myself in writing, I just don't do it often for many reasons. Again, if you are offended or don't like what I have to say that's your problem, you deal with it!
Wish you all a happy and fun filled weekend.
M
So my latest venture I have toiled with for weeks, writing about the things I've learned this year. Now, please let me preface myself with these are my views, thoughts, and feelings. If you don't like it or don't care for what I say you can kick rocks and stop reading. This are view points and thoughts. Please don't feel you need to comment or be negative, because if you don't have anything nice or positive to say I surely don't want to hear. (Sorry, it seems cruel and harsh, but I am just DONE and can't deal with negative people....ain't nobody got time for that!) But on the real, my intention and objective is to share the things I've learned this year. Not about just myself, but life, love, happiness, my relationship with GOD and so much more.
I've been compiling my list in my mind and gathering my thoughts. I thought it might be a fitting way to end the year by publishing them on my blog. So I will begin tomorrow, the first day of December. This is more about me than anything in the world. I like to express myself in writing, I just don't do it often for many reasons. Again, if you are offended or don't like what I have to say that's your problem, you deal with it!
Wish you all a happy and fun filled weekend.
M
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I am thankful . . . .
So, after a little hiatus I am back again with a pretty big goal for myself. Glad to be back in the blogging saddle, I've been longing to get it back started again. And what better time than now. This month I am undertaking a little project of reflecting on how thankful I am each day via Facebook stat. I hope to elaborate each day here on my blog as well, but the way things go, I may have to do it on the weekends. God knows I have so much to be thankful for. Nevertheless, this is the goal I have set for myself. Let's see how long I keep up with it.
Happy Reading!
Mel
Happy Reading!
Mel
Monday, July 25, 2011
9. I miss my mama more and more each day
Today, marks the 10 year anniversary that we buried my mama. Unbelievably I haven't been too emotional or withdrawn. I've picked up the phone to call her a few times, but then again I have done that more this month than I have in the last 10 years. I've made myself busy this morning with Monday laundry, cooking, cleaning, emptying the refrigerator, listening to a friend in need. Sort of doing everything, but dealing with the emotion, huh? Well I guess nothing has change, because I did the same thing 10 years ago. Did everything, but grieve. And, I certainly know for so many of these 10 years, I have done the same. Everything, but deal with the emotion. Not sure if today will be any different.
There is a popular saying, "You never miss a good thing until it's gone." And I agree, that much is true. But I have seen quote here lately very similar that makes even more sense. "You never miss a good thing until it's gone. No, you just thought it would never leave you." Now, that is the God's honest truth there, my friends. You know I never thought my mama would leave me. I know if she would have had her way, she never would left me and my sister. But God had a better plan for her I guess. Years ago, the thought crossed my mind that my sister and I were probably the only 2 of our aged friends and family that could handle losing their mother at such a young age. I was 17, my sister 23. My mother had prepared us in some many ways. There wasn't much for us to 'figure out'. She had taught us how to conduct funeral business, handle legal documents, and graciously deal with those that come by to pay their respects and console the family. We got plenty of practice in the Summer '99 when my grandaddy and his 2 sisters died within a 3 month span. (Yup, when it rains it pours!) So, we knew exactly what to do and who to call when the time came. There wasn't much we had to figure out, but enough for us to learn how to it for ourselves. That was my mama, she always provided us with opportunity to learn how to do things, but left us with enough so that we could figure out the rest. She'd put us in social situations (knowing we were uncomfortable), to get use to speaking and interacting with adults and business people intelligently. She took us to banquets and formal dinners to make sure we knew the proper etiquette. I'm thankful for learning experiences like such, because it has help me more confident in me of the decisions and dealings I have encountered. I can speak publicly at the drop of a dime and feel comfortable around businessmen and other adults.
Life hasn't been easy these last 10 years for sure. It hurts like a dagger when I see others with their mothers or are able to call their mother for advice. When they drop their children off with the mother's or when I see they've spent the day with their mother. It all hurts. Labor & delivery with Kaedyn was so difficult, because my mama wasn't there. I spent most of the time sleeping, so I wouldn't have think about it. There are days when I want to ask her a quick question or would love to have a certain recipe, and I sit in with tears in my eyes and disappoint in my heart. Christmas, holidays, family get togethers, even the ball games aren't the same. I do the best to try to mask my feelings to everyone. I've learned how to conceal my feelings as to not offend or put others in awkward position. It's not their fault, right? (It's funny how we hide our emotions so they don't feel some kind of way.) I just pretend it doesn't hurt me, but it does. I know she is in a better place and smiling down upon me, but it doesn't take the pain away. It doesn't answer the question, "Why can't I just talk to my mama?"
My mama told me and my sister years ago that there wasn't a day she didn't think about her mama. Some days were good and some days were not so good. I can truly attest to that! Some days are good and so days I just want to cry, "I want my mama!" I miss her more and more each day. Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to get through the day, some kind of way I manage. I started the healing process with a therapist a couple of years ago, but didn't get finished. So, I'm kind of at a stand still right now. Not knowing what to do, who to talk to, or which way to turn. I'm simply taking it one day at a time, and not dealing with the big picture, just taking the little things one at a time. That's the best I can do right now, all things considered.
But for all of you reading that still have your mother in the flesh, love her and cherish her. Birthday and Mother's Day of course, but every day. I know there are times when they aggravate us or don't deserve royalty treatment, nevertheless the Lord says, "Honor thy mother and thy father. And thy days will be long!" Because at the end of the day, I would give any thing to take back some of those eyes rolls, closed doors, and even pouts that I would out. Take what they say to heart and learn as much as you can from them. (God knows I probably wouldn't hooked Mez if I couldn't fry chicken! lol)I love my mama and I wish I would have told her more often than I did. I understand it and can see it a lot more clearly now that I am a mother. There is nothing like a Mother's Love! Nothing and no one can replace it! I strive to be a great mom like my mom and I pray that God spares my life to see my grandchildren, something she wasn't able to do.
And because I lost so many people dear to me at a young age, I value my family and the time I spend with them. I know that time is no guarantee and so I try to spend as much quality time with them as possible. I try to show them how much I love them and tell them often. I hug longer and more often, and even enable them too (I know, that's bad!). And I try to see the good in everyone. I give people second chances (maybe much more often than I should), and lastly I love deeply. Life is short and I try to make the best of it.
I was my mama's princess that's for sure. I miss the way she left us notes in our bags, chore list on the table in the summer time, extra homework and worksheets to help with our school work, the way she yelled our names, or even those house shoes across the linoleum floor, how she would say, "What's up Doodie?", or even yell, 'Redd, come get these frakecards out my floor!", the way she genuinely listened to us, made us put in 'sweat equity' into our new house, and even taught us those life lessons like, "You keep on lookin, you gon' get your eyes full!" I miss the way she would let me lay across her chest to hear her heart beat and talk to me hours on end. I miss how she made all 3 of us pile up in her bed when it stormed real bad or she made sure that we knew that on one was more important than 'her girls'. I miss her smile, her straight face, and the look over the top of those reading glasses (that meant exit the room quickly, yet slowly). I miss her pineapple glazed cakes, stewed salmon, and coconut-pineapple pies. I miss our trips to the fresh market, our little pancake restaurant, and our early morning yard sale trips. I miss how she use to make me lay my clothes out like a scarecrow before I went to bed at night, and I even miss how she use to make us iron clothes before we put them in closet. I miss how she drove me to school every morning, I miss seeing her in the stands at my cheerleading competitions. I miss working with her in the summer, I miss her answering the phone, "EDTAC", I miss our lunch dates or going to a new restaurant with her. I miss her sitting in her reading chair, I miss lying next to her in bed as my sister laid at the foot. I even miss her fussing at us. (She was tough, and I couldn't understand why, but now I know.) I miss her directness, wisdom, advice, and most of all her ability to understand me better than I understood myself. She was an incredible woman and I miss her so much. . . .
So today as I remember her with the tears in my eyes, this I know for sure. . .
I miss my mama more and more each day!
Melanie
There is a popular saying, "You never miss a good thing until it's gone." And I agree, that much is true. But I have seen quote here lately very similar that makes even more sense. "You never miss a good thing until it's gone. No, you just thought it would never leave you." Now, that is the God's honest truth there, my friends. You know I never thought my mama would leave me. I know if she would have had her way, she never would left me and my sister. But God had a better plan for her I guess. Years ago, the thought crossed my mind that my sister and I were probably the only 2 of our aged friends and family that could handle losing their mother at such a young age. I was 17, my sister 23. My mother had prepared us in some many ways. There wasn't much for us to 'figure out'. She had taught us how to conduct funeral business, handle legal documents, and graciously deal with those that come by to pay their respects and console the family. We got plenty of practice in the Summer '99 when my grandaddy and his 2 sisters died within a 3 month span. (Yup, when it rains it pours!) So, we knew exactly what to do and who to call when the time came. There wasn't much we had to figure out, but enough for us to learn how to it for ourselves. That was my mama, she always provided us with opportunity to learn how to do things, but left us with enough so that we could figure out the rest. She'd put us in social situations (knowing we were uncomfortable), to get use to speaking and interacting with adults and business people intelligently. She took us to banquets and formal dinners to make sure we knew the proper etiquette. I'm thankful for learning experiences like such, because it has help me more confident in me of the decisions and dealings I have encountered. I can speak publicly at the drop of a dime and feel comfortable around businessmen and other adults.
Life hasn't been easy these last 10 years for sure. It hurts like a dagger when I see others with their mothers or are able to call their mother for advice. When they drop their children off with the mother's or when I see they've spent the day with their mother. It all hurts. Labor & delivery with Kaedyn was so difficult, because my mama wasn't there. I spent most of the time sleeping, so I wouldn't have think about it. There are days when I want to ask her a quick question or would love to have a certain recipe, and I sit in with tears in my eyes and disappoint in my heart. Christmas, holidays, family get togethers, even the ball games aren't the same. I do the best to try to mask my feelings to everyone. I've learned how to conceal my feelings as to not offend or put others in awkward position. It's not their fault, right? (It's funny how we hide our emotions so they don't feel some kind of way.) I just pretend it doesn't hurt me, but it does. I know she is in a better place and smiling down upon me, but it doesn't take the pain away. It doesn't answer the question, "Why can't I just talk to my mama?"
My mama told me and my sister years ago that there wasn't a day she didn't think about her mama. Some days were good and some days were not so good. I can truly attest to that! Some days are good and so days I just want to cry, "I want my mama!" I miss her more and more each day. Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to get through the day, some kind of way I manage. I started the healing process with a therapist a couple of years ago, but didn't get finished. So, I'm kind of at a stand still right now. Not knowing what to do, who to talk to, or which way to turn. I'm simply taking it one day at a time, and not dealing with the big picture, just taking the little things one at a time. That's the best I can do right now, all things considered.
But for all of you reading that still have your mother in the flesh, love her and cherish her. Birthday and Mother's Day of course, but every day. I know there are times when they aggravate us or don't deserve royalty treatment, nevertheless the Lord says, "Honor thy mother and thy father. And thy days will be long!" Because at the end of the day, I would give any thing to take back some of those eyes rolls, closed doors, and even pouts that I would out. Take what they say to heart and learn as much as you can from them. (God knows I probably wouldn't hooked Mez if I couldn't fry chicken! lol)I love my mama and I wish I would have told her more often than I did. I understand it and can see it a lot more clearly now that I am a mother. There is nothing like a Mother's Love! Nothing and no one can replace it! I strive to be a great mom like my mom and I pray that God spares my life to see my grandchildren, something she wasn't able to do.
And because I lost so many people dear to me at a young age, I value my family and the time I spend with them. I know that time is no guarantee and so I try to spend as much quality time with them as possible. I try to show them how much I love them and tell them often. I hug longer and more often, and even enable them too (I know, that's bad!). And I try to see the good in everyone. I give people second chances (maybe much more often than I should), and lastly I love deeply. Life is short and I try to make the best of it.
I was my mama's princess that's for sure. I miss the way she left us notes in our bags, chore list on the table in the summer time, extra homework and worksheets to help with our school work, the way she yelled our names, or even those house shoes across the linoleum floor, how she would say, "What's up Doodie?", or even yell, 'Redd, come get these frakecards out my floor!", the way she genuinely listened to us, made us put in 'sweat equity' into our new house, and even taught us those life lessons like, "You keep on lookin, you gon' get your eyes full!" I miss the way she would let me lay across her chest to hear her heart beat and talk to me hours on end. I miss how she made all 3 of us pile up in her bed when it stormed real bad or she made sure that we knew that on one was more important than 'her girls'. I miss her smile, her straight face, and the look over the top of those reading glasses (that meant exit the room quickly, yet slowly). I miss her pineapple glazed cakes, stewed salmon, and coconut-pineapple pies. I miss our trips to the fresh market, our little pancake restaurant, and our early morning yard sale trips. I miss how she use to make me lay my clothes out like a scarecrow before I went to bed at night, and I even miss how she use to make us iron clothes before we put them in closet. I miss how she drove me to school every morning, I miss seeing her in the stands at my cheerleading competitions. I miss working with her in the summer, I miss her answering the phone, "EDTAC", I miss our lunch dates or going to a new restaurant with her. I miss her sitting in her reading chair, I miss lying next to her in bed as my sister laid at the foot. I even miss her fussing at us. (She was tough, and I couldn't understand why, but now I know.) I miss her directness, wisdom, advice, and most of all her ability to understand me better than I understood myself. She was an incredible woman and I miss her so much. . . .
So today as I remember her with the tears in my eyes, this I know for sure. . .
I miss my mama more and more each day!
Melanie
Saturday, July 23, 2011
What's Goin On?
So this post will be a little different than the norm. Instead of focusing on one of the statements from my list, I think I'm just gonna talk a little about, "What's Goin' On?" In my last post, I mentioned that I haven't blogged all month. There are many reasons (yeah, you could say excuses) as to why I haven't. But to sum it all up. July is such a bittersweet month for me. In addition to bittersweet it has been a bit stressful for me as well. Nevertheless, it is what it is!
I will try to elaborate a little more on each one of these in the days ahead. (No promises!) So, what's been going on?
You would think life would be footloose and fancy free right now since school is out. Well it gets stressful for me since I'm on a strict budget and I kick myself over and over for not saving like I said I would all year long. You would think I would learn, but this year, it hurts a little harder. I know what I've got to do, it's just a matter of doing it. (Trust me, I know I'm not the only one with this problem!)
Kaedyn has been home with us all summer. For those, that know me well...interesting, yes, I know! Everyone is still breathing, which is good. Kaedyn has only been to the sitter once since school got out. Shocker, huh? Now don't get me wrong, I love my boy (this I know for sure), but we haven't been with each other this much since the 6 weeks I was on maternity leave. And trust me, a lot has changed since then! Things get hectic, chaotic, nerve wracking, and overwhelming often. Some days are better than others. But deep breaths, my bathroom hideaway, and play dates have saved me a lot days this summer. But overall, I have enjoyed my "Good Morning wake ups", hugs, kisses, and the quality time I am getting to spend with him.
My high school 1o year reunion is coming up. (t-7 days) There's a lot of emotions and anxiety coming along with it. We will see how this next week plays out. Excited about going, but anxious about the emotions.
This year also marks the 10 year anniversary of my mother's death. ooh, how it has hurt. I haven't said much to anyone about it, I've just tried to deal with it on my own. (certainly, not the best way. but everyone else has their own issues. so, i hate to bother someone as i sit in sob.)
Beach Vacation with my dad's family (enough said, right there)
And trust me there are a few other things on my mind, but I'll stop right there.
But at the same time, there's a lot good going on too.
Quality time with family (just the 3 of us)
Growing more in my faith and growing more as a person
Learning more about poeple, life, and how to handle situations
The thankfulness and gratefulness I have in my heart.
And so, that's what's goin on. More to come soon.
But I'll leave you with a little excerpt from the book I'm reading. (Can't give the title just yet, but it's some good stuff.)
"Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for."
Now, there's something to think about!
Melanie
I will try to elaborate a little more on each one of these in the days ahead. (No promises!) So, what's been going on?
You would think life would be footloose and fancy free right now since school is out. Well it gets stressful for me since I'm on a strict budget and I kick myself over and over for not saving like I said I would all year long. You would think I would learn, but this year, it hurts a little harder. I know what I've got to do, it's just a matter of doing it. (Trust me, I know I'm not the only one with this problem!)
Kaedyn has been home with us all summer. For those, that know me well...interesting, yes, I know! Everyone is still breathing, which is good. Kaedyn has only been to the sitter once since school got out. Shocker, huh? Now don't get me wrong, I love my boy (this I know for sure), but we haven't been with each other this much since the 6 weeks I was on maternity leave. And trust me, a lot has changed since then! Things get hectic, chaotic, nerve wracking, and overwhelming often. Some days are better than others. But deep breaths, my bathroom hideaway, and play dates have saved me a lot days this summer. But overall, I have enjoyed my "Good Morning wake ups", hugs, kisses, and the quality time I am getting to spend with him.
My high school 1o year reunion is coming up. (t-7 days) There's a lot of emotions and anxiety coming along with it. We will see how this next week plays out. Excited about going, but anxious about the emotions.
This year also marks the 10 year anniversary of my mother's death. ooh, how it has hurt. I haven't said much to anyone about it, I've just tried to deal with it on my own. (certainly, not the best way. but everyone else has their own issues. so, i hate to bother someone as i sit in sob.)
Beach Vacation with my dad's family (enough said, right there)
And trust me there are a few other things on my mind, but I'll stop right there.
But at the same time, there's a lot good going on too.
Quality time with family (just the 3 of us)
Growing more in my faith and growing more as a person
Learning more about poeple, life, and how to handle situations
The thankfulness and gratefulness I have in my heart.
And so, that's what's goin on. More to come soon.
But I'll leave you with a little excerpt from the book I'm reading. (Can't give the title just yet, but it's some good stuff.)
"Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for."
Now, there's something to think about!
Melanie
Oops, I did it again!
I think Brittany Spears said it best . . . ."Oops, I did it again!" Yup, I fell off my blogging horse, again. It's been a while. I haven't blogged at all during the month of July. (tisk, tisk) And of course, I could come with a million excuses, but they would simply be just that. . . excuses! So, I won't.
Nevertheless, I am just going to dust my self off, hold my head high, shoulders back, and jump on the saddle. (As much as I can today, with my little one and his 2 favorite girl cousins. It won't be long before I hear, "Mama" or "Auntie Melanie", nevertheless, it has been a blessing to have them here today.
Until the next post .... Ciao!
Melanie
Nevertheless, I am just going to dust my self off, hold my head high, shoulders back, and jump on the saddle. (As much as I can today, with my little one and his 2 favorite girl cousins. It won't be long before I hear, "Mama" or "Auntie Melanie", nevertheless, it has been a blessing to have them here today.
Until the next post .... Ciao!
Melanie
Thursday, June 30, 2011
52. I am blessed
And so, I told you when I started this a few weeks ago, that my list was a work in progress and that I would be adding more as I went a long. So, I didn't want to disappoint you! And so, I'm adding another one to the list that I forgot. I'm not so sure how I forgot this one, but I did. But before I get on with this one, I've got something I need to say . . . .
Sincerest apologies to my readers for the absence. For those of you who live vicariously (you know who you are) through me and those that enjoy reading my blogs I am truly grateful for you. Sorry for the break, I won't promise that it may never happen again, but I am back on the saddle again tonight (at least for tonight) and hope not to jump off anytime soon.
Ok, back to regular blogging post....
Well, this I know for sure . . . . . I am Blessed!
In a conversation with my bestie a few weeks I go I was venting about I enjoy being off for the summer, but how it places so much stress on me. (Don't ask . . . I know the summer is supposed to be relaxing and fun, but it can be just the opposite for me!) I hang up the phone and recap the conversation in my mind and God whispered to me, "Yeah, but Melanie, look how blessed you are!' And so after thinking about it for a few minutes it's like, "Yeah, Lord you are right! I am blessed! So blessed." And it is at that moment, I realized that all that other stuff didn't matter. So what I don't get to take Kaedyn to do all the fun things I would like for us to do this summer, but I am getting to spend a lot quality time with him this summer. So what I don't have money to go buy new clothes every weekend, but I have a closet full of clothes. So what, things aren't perfect, but I wake up with breath in my body! I've really had to remind myself how blessed I am lately. I know it sounds horrible, but sometimes we forget just how blessed we are. Not that we get greedy or complacent and want more, but sometimes just forget the little things to be thankful for.
These last few days have been a bit of a roller coaster for me, but I keep reminding myself of how blessed I am. God has blessed me and my family with a comfortable house. It's not a mansion, but it's a comfortable place in which we can laugh, smile, live, and spend quality time together. God has allowed me to further my education and get 2 degrees, and share my knowledge with others. He allows me to interact and reach the minds of students each and every day. I think it is so great that I get to learn with young minds and expose them to some of life's greatest wonders. (And teach them a thing or two!)
I've got a great boyfriend that loves me and when it comes down to the wire he is there to support me. I have a energetic 3 year old that is smart as a whip and showers me with hugs and kisses everyday. A sister and brother that let me make my decisions, but is there to be the big sister and brother that I need when I need it. Friends that always have a listening ear, a swift kick in the ass,reality, and a shoulder to cry on (or whatever I may need). What a great support system. I am so blessed to have an array of people in my life to help me along my journey in life
You know I may not have a lot to show off, to boast, or to brag about, but I am blessed. Blessed to have such good people and great experiences that teach me some of life's hardest lessons. So what I don't own my own company, have a expensive car, or make 6 figures a year. So what I'm not married, in a big house with a picket fence, and 2.5 kids. So what !!!! I have been abundantly blessed with all the things God wants me to have right now! (I'll have to remind myself of all of this in 30 days)
I could go on and on about how much God has blessed me, but I won't. I thank him for all of his goodness, mercy, and all the blessings he has bestowed upon me (big or small). I thank him for forgiving me time and time again and continually pushing me to become a better mother,person, and woman. You know all that other stuff is just not important sometimes, I am just so thankful for what I have now.
So, this I know for sure. . . . I am blessed!
Melanie
Sincerest apologies to my readers for the absence. For those of you who live vicariously (you know who you are) through me and those that enjoy reading my blogs I am truly grateful for you. Sorry for the break, I won't promise that it may never happen again, but I am back on the saddle again tonight (at least for tonight) and hope not to jump off anytime soon.
Ok, back to regular blogging post....
Well, this I know for sure . . . . . I am Blessed!
In a conversation with my bestie a few weeks I go I was venting about I enjoy being off for the summer, but how it places so much stress on me. (Don't ask . . . I know the summer is supposed to be relaxing and fun, but it can be just the opposite for me!) I hang up the phone and recap the conversation in my mind and God whispered to me, "Yeah, but Melanie, look how blessed you are!' And so after thinking about it for a few minutes it's like, "Yeah, Lord you are right! I am blessed! So blessed." And it is at that moment, I realized that all that other stuff didn't matter. So what I don't get to take Kaedyn to do all the fun things I would like for us to do this summer, but I am getting to spend a lot quality time with him this summer. So what I don't have money to go buy new clothes every weekend, but I have a closet full of clothes. So what, things aren't perfect, but I wake up with breath in my body! I've really had to remind myself how blessed I am lately. I know it sounds horrible, but sometimes we forget just how blessed we are. Not that we get greedy or complacent and want more, but sometimes just forget the little things to be thankful for.
These last few days have been a bit of a roller coaster for me, but I keep reminding myself of how blessed I am. God has blessed me and my family with a comfortable house. It's not a mansion, but it's a comfortable place in which we can laugh, smile, live, and spend quality time together. God has allowed me to further my education and get 2 degrees, and share my knowledge with others. He allows me to interact and reach the minds of students each and every day. I think it is so great that I get to learn with young minds and expose them to some of life's greatest wonders. (And teach them a thing or two!)
I've got a great boyfriend that loves me and when it comes down to the wire he is there to support me. I have a energetic 3 year old that is smart as a whip and showers me with hugs and kisses everyday. A sister and brother that let me make my decisions, but is there to be the big sister and brother that I need when I need it. Friends that always have a listening ear, a swift kick in the ass,reality, and a shoulder to cry on (or whatever I may need). What a great support system. I am so blessed to have an array of people in my life to help me along my journey in life
You know I may not have a lot to show off, to boast, or to brag about, but I am blessed. Blessed to have such good people and great experiences that teach me some of life's hardest lessons. So what I don't own my own company, have a expensive car, or make 6 figures a year. So what I'm not married, in a big house with a picket fence, and 2.5 kids. So what !!!! I have been abundantly blessed with all the things God wants me to have right now! (I'll have to remind myself of all of this in 30 days)
I could go on and on about how much God has blessed me, but I won't. I thank him for all of his goodness, mercy, and all the blessings he has bestowed upon me (big or small). I thank him for forgiving me time and time again and continually pushing me to become a better mother,person, and woman. You know all that other stuff is just not important sometimes, I am just so thankful for what I have now.
So, this I know for sure. . . . I am blessed!
Melanie
Monday, June 20, 2011
24. Words of Affrimation
I get a devotional delivered to my email each morning from Proverbs 31 Woman. I typically read it and mediate on it before I climb out of bed each morning, however I have kind of gotten away from it since school is out. And so, today's devotion I didn't read until about midday and I instantly made a connection (text - to - text, for all my school teacher peeps) to a book that I read not long ago, Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages. Nevertheless, the title of the devotion is "Words that Heal" and the focus scripture comes from Proverbs 18:21. The devotion goes on to talk about how a son wrote his father a inspirational letter upon his graduation from graduate school and it inspired the mother to write one to the child. The author goes on to write in the devotional that the muscle in the tongue is powerful, however the words that fall from the tongue is most powerful. The question is posed, "Why do we leave such precious words unsaid?" It says, "We often talk about the negative words we should hold back, but about the words what we can freely offer to those we care about."
This being said, I know that there are some things/words that affirm people. People love to hear when they are doing something right or when receive random acts of kindness, or is shown love and kindness for no reason, just because the giver wants to give those things. One of the biggest lies of all time is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" WRONG! Words will hurt, they do! They bruise, break, and can scar you for life if they are mean, hurtful, unappreciative, and demeaning. Although, kind words don't do those things. Kind, loving, thoughtful, beautiful words when spoken with conviction and sincerity don't do those things. In my opinion, it takes more energy to say something negative and hurtful than something kind and thoughtful. It took me a long time to realize that my best defense to someone that can't or won't speak kindly to me is to speak kind words to them. Now I may backslide from time to time (who doesn't), I think it is almost instinct to rebut in defensive way. But the best way for people to understand how I want them to treat me and speak to me is to give them an example. Yeah so what they say cruel/mean things, but that's their problem, not mine. (Matthew 12:36)
Words of affirmation are nothing more than verbal compliments that convey your love/care for someone. They can also be kind, encouraging, and humble words. So, what is it going to hurt, if you compliment someones shoes or how they look (as long as it is respectful). Or even complementing or acknowledging something they've done. It not only makes them feel good, but it will make you feel good when you see their reaction. And so, you've brightened two lives, yours and theirs.
After reading Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages", I learned that Words of Affirmation is my primary love language, with Quality Time following closely behind. Hearing positive, kind words really doing something for me. I feel loved, appreciated, and cared for and that means a lot to me. I am a person who puts a lot of thought and energy into things and people. So for someone to take time and energy to speak words of affirmation to me is monumental to me! And I think even more as a mother, it means so much. I think because we cook, clean, clean up, tend to the kids, sew, do all other Superwoman activities (lol), and be a partner, that we often feel unappreciated, overworked, underpaid, and plain and simple used. So to hear kind words like "You are a great mom!" or "That was a fantastic dinner." goes so far with moms. True and genuine words of affirmation certainly put a smile on my face and in my heart. Ever since reading, The 5 love languages I have consciously tried to speak more words of affirmation to all that I encounter. Whether it is a simple, "Thank you for doing ____________, that was really helpful" or "Girl, I really like those shoes!" It has not only helped me, but the look upon their face is often priceless. I am a giver and if I can simply give a compliment or affirm someone else, I feel that I have given them something that money can buy. Maybe my words have evoked a happy or feeling of gratitude/appreciation. I like how it makes me feel when I receive such kind words that I only can hope it does the same to those that I do it for.
Nevertheless, WORDS are IMPORTANT! And all too often words, you don't speak are just as important. But take time today, to speak words of affirmation to someone. It may be just what they need, and more importantly it may be just what you need.I am a firm believer in letting those you love and care for know just how important they are before it is too late. So,whether it be in a letter, a verbal compliment, a sweet little note you tape on the steering wheel of their car, go out of your way to speak words of affirmation to someone today. You will be amazed how it it makes you look and feel! Their is a healing power in words!
And so, this I know for sure . . . .Words do heal! Words are important! Words of Affirmation are essential!
Melanie
This being said, I know that there are some things/words that affirm people. People love to hear when they are doing something right or when receive random acts of kindness, or is shown love and kindness for no reason, just because the giver wants to give those things. One of the biggest lies of all time is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" WRONG! Words will hurt, they do! They bruise, break, and can scar you for life if they are mean, hurtful, unappreciative, and demeaning. Although, kind words don't do those things. Kind, loving, thoughtful, beautiful words when spoken with conviction and sincerity don't do those things. In my opinion, it takes more energy to say something negative and hurtful than something kind and thoughtful. It took me a long time to realize that my best defense to someone that can't or won't speak kindly to me is to speak kind words to them. Now I may backslide from time to time (who doesn't), I think it is almost instinct to rebut in defensive way. But the best way for people to understand how I want them to treat me and speak to me is to give them an example. Yeah so what they say cruel/mean things, but that's their problem, not mine. (Matthew 12:36)
Words of affirmation are nothing more than verbal compliments that convey your love/care for someone. They can also be kind, encouraging, and humble words. So, what is it going to hurt, if you compliment someones shoes or how they look (as long as it is respectful). Or even complementing or acknowledging something they've done. It not only makes them feel good, but it will make you feel good when you see their reaction. And so, you've brightened two lives, yours and theirs.
After reading Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages", I learned that Words of Affirmation is my primary love language, with Quality Time following closely behind. Hearing positive, kind words really doing something for me. I feel loved, appreciated, and cared for and that means a lot to me. I am a person who puts a lot of thought and energy into things and people. So for someone to take time and energy to speak words of affirmation to me is monumental to me! And I think even more as a mother, it means so much. I think because we cook, clean, clean up, tend to the kids, sew, do all other Superwoman activities (lol), and be a partner, that we often feel unappreciated, overworked, underpaid, and plain and simple used. So to hear kind words like "You are a great mom!" or "That was a fantastic dinner." goes so far with moms. True and genuine words of affirmation certainly put a smile on my face and in my heart. Ever since reading, The 5 love languages I have consciously tried to speak more words of affirmation to all that I encounter. Whether it is a simple, "Thank you for doing ____________, that was really helpful" or "Girl, I really like those shoes!" It has not only helped me, but the look upon their face is often priceless. I am a giver and if I can simply give a compliment or affirm someone else, I feel that I have given them something that money can buy. Maybe my words have evoked a happy or feeling of gratitude/appreciation. I like how it makes me feel when I receive such kind words that I only can hope it does the same to those that I do it for.
Nevertheless, WORDS are IMPORTANT! And all too often words, you don't speak are just as important. But take time today, to speak words of affirmation to someone. It may be just what they need, and more importantly it may be just what you need.I am a firm believer in letting those you love and care for know just how important they are before it is too late. So,whether it be in a letter, a verbal compliment, a sweet little note you tape on the steering wheel of their car, go out of your way to speak words of affirmation to someone today. You will be amazed how it it makes you look and feel! Their is a healing power in words!
And so, this I know for sure . . . .Words do heal! Words are important! Words of Affirmation are essential!
Melanie
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