Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I am thankful . . . .
So, after a little hiatus I am back again with a pretty big goal for myself. Glad to be back in the blogging saddle, I've been longing to get it back started again. And what better time than now. This month I am undertaking a little project of reflecting on how thankful I am each day via Facebook stat. I hope to elaborate each day here on my blog as well, but the way things go, I may have to do it on the weekends. God knows I have so much to be thankful for. Nevertheless, this is the goal I have set for myself. Let's see how long I keep up with it.
Happy Reading!
Mel
Happy Reading!
Mel
Monday, July 25, 2011
9. I miss my mama more and more each day
Today, marks the 10 year anniversary that we buried my mama. Unbelievably I haven't been too emotional or withdrawn. I've picked up the phone to call her a few times, but then again I have done that more this month than I have in the last 10 years. I've made myself busy this morning with Monday laundry, cooking, cleaning, emptying the refrigerator, listening to a friend in need. Sort of doing everything, but dealing with the emotion, huh? Well I guess nothing has change, because I did the same thing 10 years ago. Did everything, but grieve. And, I certainly know for so many of these 10 years, I have done the same. Everything, but deal with the emotion. Not sure if today will be any different.
There is a popular saying, "You never miss a good thing until it's gone." And I agree, that much is true. But I have seen quote here lately very similar that makes even more sense. "You never miss a good thing until it's gone. No, you just thought it would never leave you." Now, that is the God's honest truth there, my friends. You know I never thought my mama would leave me. I know if she would have had her way, she never would left me and my sister. But God had a better plan for her I guess. Years ago, the thought crossed my mind that my sister and I were probably the only 2 of our aged friends and family that could handle losing their mother at such a young age. I was 17, my sister 23. My mother had prepared us in some many ways. There wasn't much for us to 'figure out'. She had taught us how to conduct funeral business, handle legal documents, and graciously deal with those that come by to pay their respects and console the family. We got plenty of practice in the Summer '99 when my grandaddy and his 2 sisters died within a 3 month span. (Yup, when it rains it pours!) So, we knew exactly what to do and who to call when the time came. There wasn't much we had to figure out, but enough for us to learn how to it for ourselves. That was my mama, she always provided us with opportunity to learn how to do things, but left us with enough so that we could figure out the rest. She'd put us in social situations (knowing we were uncomfortable), to get use to speaking and interacting with adults and business people intelligently. She took us to banquets and formal dinners to make sure we knew the proper etiquette. I'm thankful for learning experiences like such, because it has help me more confident in me of the decisions and dealings I have encountered. I can speak publicly at the drop of a dime and feel comfortable around businessmen and other adults.
Life hasn't been easy these last 10 years for sure. It hurts like a dagger when I see others with their mothers or are able to call their mother for advice. When they drop their children off with the mother's or when I see they've spent the day with their mother. It all hurts. Labor & delivery with Kaedyn was so difficult, because my mama wasn't there. I spent most of the time sleeping, so I wouldn't have think about it. There are days when I want to ask her a quick question or would love to have a certain recipe, and I sit in with tears in my eyes and disappoint in my heart. Christmas, holidays, family get togethers, even the ball games aren't the same. I do the best to try to mask my feelings to everyone. I've learned how to conceal my feelings as to not offend or put others in awkward position. It's not their fault, right? (It's funny how we hide our emotions so they don't feel some kind of way.) I just pretend it doesn't hurt me, but it does. I know she is in a better place and smiling down upon me, but it doesn't take the pain away. It doesn't answer the question, "Why can't I just talk to my mama?"
My mama told me and my sister years ago that there wasn't a day she didn't think about her mama. Some days were good and some days were not so good. I can truly attest to that! Some days are good and so days I just want to cry, "I want my mama!" I miss her more and more each day. Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to get through the day, some kind of way I manage. I started the healing process with a therapist a couple of years ago, but didn't get finished. So, I'm kind of at a stand still right now. Not knowing what to do, who to talk to, or which way to turn. I'm simply taking it one day at a time, and not dealing with the big picture, just taking the little things one at a time. That's the best I can do right now, all things considered.
But for all of you reading that still have your mother in the flesh, love her and cherish her. Birthday and Mother's Day of course, but every day. I know there are times when they aggravate us or don't deserve royalty treatment, nevertheless the Lord says, "Honor thy mother and thy father. And thy days will be long!" Because at the end of the day, I would give any thing to take back some of those eyes rolls, closed doors, and even pouts that I would out. Take what they say to heart and learn as much as you can from them. (God knows I probably wouldn't hooked Mez if I couldn't fry chicken! lol)I love my mama and I wish I would have told her more often than I did. I understand it and can see it a lot more clearly now that I am a mother. There is nothing like a Mother's Love! Nothing and no one can replace it! I strive to be a great mom like my mom and I pray that God spares my life to see my grandchildren, something she wasn't able to do.
And because I lost so many people dear to me at a young age, I value my family and the time I spend with them. I know that time is no guarantee and so I try to spend as much quality time with them as possible. I try to show them how much I love them and tell them often. I hug longer and more often, and even enable them too (I know, that's bad!). And I try to see the good in everyone. I give people second chances (maybe much more often than I should), and lastly I love deeply. Life is short and I try to make the best of it.
I was my mama's princess that's for sure. I miss the way she left us notes in our bags, chore list on the table in the summer time, extra homework and worksheets to help with our school work, the way she yelled our names, or even those house shoes across the linoleum floor, how she would say, "What's up Doodie?", or even yell, 'Redd, come get these frakecards out my floor!", the way she genuinely listened to us, made us put in 'sweat equity' into our new house, and even taught us those life lessons like, "You keep on lookin, you gon' get your eyes full!" I miss the way she would let me lay across her chest to hear her heart beat and talk to me hours on end. I miss how she made all 3 of us pile up in her bed when it stormed real bad or she made sure that we knew that on one was more important than 'her girls'. I miss her smile, her straight face, and the look over the top of those reading glasses (that meant exit the room quickly, yet slowly). I miss her pineapple glazed cakes, stewed salmon, and coconut-pineapple pies. I miss our trips to the fresh market, our little pancake restaurant, and our early morning yard sale trips. I miss how she use to make me lay my clothes out like a scarecrow before I went to bed at night, and I even miss how she use to make us iron clothes before we put them in closet. I miss how she drove me to school every morning, I miss seeing her in the stands at my cheerleading competitions. I miss working with her in the summer, I miss her answering the phone, "EDTAC", I miss our lunch dates or going to a new restaurant with her. I miss her sitting in her reading chair, I miss lying next to her in bed as my sister laid at the foot. I even miss her fussing at us. (She was tough, and I couldn't understand why, but now I know.) I miss her directness, wisdom, advice, and most of all her ability to understand me better than I understood myself. She was an incredible woman and I miss her so much. . . .
So today as I remember her with the tears in my eyes, this I know for sure. . .
I miss my mama more and more each day!
Melanie
There is a popular saying, "You never miss a good thing until it's gone." And I agree, that much is true. But I have seen quote here lately very similar that makes even more sense. "You never miss a good thing until it's gone. No, you just thought it would never leave you." Now, that is the God's honest truth there, my friends. You know I never thought my mama would leave me. I know if she would have had her way, she never would left me and my sister. But God had a better plan for her I guess. Years ago, the thought crossed my mind that my sister and I were probably the only 2 of our aged friends and family that could handle losing their mother at such a young age. I was 17, my sister 23. My mother had prepared us in some many ways. There wasn't much for us to 'figure out'. She had taught us how to conduct funeral business, handle legal documents, and graciously deal with those that come by to pay their respects and console the family. We got plenty of practice in the Summer '99 when my grandaddy and his 2 sisters died within a 3 month span. (Yup, when it rains it pours!) So, we knew exactly what to do and who to call when the time came. There wasn't much we had to figure out, but enough for us to learn how to it for ourselves. That was my mama, she always provided us with opportunity to learn how to do things, but left us with enough so that we could figure out the rest. She'd put us in social situations (knowing we were uncomfortable), to get use to speaking and interacting with adults and business people intelligently. She took us to banquets and formal dinners to make sure we knew the proper etiquette. I'm thankful for learning experiences like such, because it has help me more confident in me of the decisions and dealings I have encountered. I can speak publicly at the drop of a dime and feel comfortable around businessmen and other adults.
Life hasn't been easy these last 10 years for sure. It hurts like a dagger when I see others with their mothers or are able to call their mother for advice. When they drop their children off with the mother's or when I see they've spent the day with their mother. It all hurts. Labor & delivery with Kaedyn was so difficult, because my mama wasn't there. I spent most of the time sleeping, so I wouldn't have think about it. There are days when I want to ask her a quick question or would love to have a certain recipe, and I sit in with tears in my eyes and disappoint in my heart. Christmas, holidays, family get togethers, even the ball games aren't the same. I do the best to try to mask my feelings to everyone. I've learned how to conceal my feelings as to not offend or put others in awkward position. It's not their fault, right? (It's funny how we hide our emotions so they don't feel some kind of way.) I just pretend it doesn't hurt me, but it does. I know she is in a better place and smiling down upon me, but it doesn't take the pain away. It doesn't answer the question, "Why can't I just talk to my mama?"
My mama told me and my sister years ago that there wasn't a day she didn't think about her mama. Some days were good and some days were not so good. I can truly attest to that! Some days are good and so days I just want to cry, "I want my mama!" I miss her more and more each day. Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to get through the day, some kind of way I manage. I started the healing process with a therapist a couple of years ago, but didn't get finished. So, I'm kind of at a stand still right now. Not knowing what to do, who to talk to, or which way to turn. I'm simply taking it one day at a time, and not dealing with the big picture, just taking the little things one at a time. That's the best I can do right now, all things considered.
But for all of you reading that still have your mother in the flesh, love her and cherish her. Birthday and Mother's Day of course, but every day. I know there are times when they aggravate us or don't deserve royalty treatment, nevertheless the Lord says, "Honor thy mother and thy father. And thy days will be long!" Because at the end of the day, I would give any thing to take back some of those eyes rolls, closed doors, and even pouts that I would out. Take what they say to heart and learn as much as you can from them. (God knows I probably wouldn't hooked Mez if I couldn't fry chicken! lol)I love my mama and I wish I would have told her more often than I did. I understand it and can see it a lot more clearly now that I am a mother. There is nothing like a Mother's Love! Nothing and no one can replace it! I strive to be a great mom like my mom and I pray that God spares my life to see my grandchildren, something she wasn't able to do.
And because I lost so many people dear to me at a young age, I value my family and the time I spend with them. I know that time is no guarantee and so I try to spend as much quality time with them as possible. I try to show them how much I love them and tell them often. I hug longer and more often, and even enable them too (I know, that's bad!). And I try to see the good in everyone. I give people second chances (maybe much more often than I should), and lastly I love deeply. Life is short and I try to make the best of it.
I was my mama's princess that's for sure. I miss the way she left us notes in our bags, chore list on the table in the summer time, extra homework and worksheets to help with our school work, the way she yelled our names, or even those house shoes across the linoleum floor, how she would say, "What's up Doodie?", or even yell, 'Redd, come get these frakecards out my floor!", the way she genuinely listened to us, made us put in 'sweat equity' into our new house, and even taught us those life lessons like, "You keep on lookin, you gon' get your eyes full!" I miss the way she would let me lay across her chest to hear her heart beat and talk to me hours on end. I miss how she made all 3 of us pile up in her bed when it stormed real bad or she made sure that we knew that on one was more important than 'her girls'. I miss her smile, her straight face, and the look over the top of those reading glasses (that meant exit the room quickly, yet slowly). I miss her pineapple glazed cakes, stewed salmon, and coconut-pineapple pies. I miss our trips to the fresh market, our little pancake restaurant, and our early morning yard sale trips. I miss how she use to make me lay my clothes out like a scarecrow before I went to bed at night, and I even miss how she use to make us iron clothes before we put them in closet. I miss how she drove me to school every morning, I miss seeing her in the stands at my cheerleading competitions. I miss working with her in the summer, I miss her answering the phone, "EDTAC", I miss our lunch dates or going to a new restaurant with her. I miss her sitting in her reading chair, I miss lying next to her in bed as my sister laid at the foot. I even miss her fussing at us. (She was tough, and I couldn't understand why, but now I know.) I miss her directness, wisdom, advice, and most of all her ability to understand me better than I understood myself. She was an incredible woman and I miss her so much. . . .
So today as I remember her with the tears in my eyes, this I know for sure. . .
I miss my mama more and more each day!
Melanie
Saturday, July 23, 2011
What's Goin On?
So this post will be a little different than the norm. Instead of focusing on one of the statements from my list, I think I'm just gonna talk a little about, "What's Goin' On?" In my last post, I mentioned that I haven't blogged all month. There are many reasons (yeah, you could say excuses) as to why I haven't. But to sum it all up. July is such a bittersweet month for me. In addition to bittersweet it has been a bit stressful for me as well. Nevertheless, it is what it is!
I will try to elaborate a little more on each one of these in the days ahead. (No promises!) So, what's been going on?
You would think life would be footloose and fancy free right now since school is out. Well it gets stressful for me since I'm on a strict budget and I kick myself over and over for not saving like I said I would all year long. You would think I would learn, but this year, it hurts a little harder. I know what I've got to do, it's just a matter of doing it. (Trust me, I know I'm not the only one with this problem!)
Kaedyn has been home with us all summer. For those, that know me well...interesting, yes, I know! Everyone is still breathing, which is good. Kaedyn has only been to the sitter once since school got out. Shocker, huh? Now don't get me wrong, I love my boy (this I know for sure), but we haven't been with each other this much since the 6 weeks I was on maternity leave. And trust me, a lot has changed since then! Things get hectic, chaotic, nerve wracking, and overwhelming often. Some days are better than others. But deep breaths, my bathroom hideaway, and play dates have saved me a lot days this summer. But overall, I have enjoyed my "Good Morning wake ups", hugs, kisses, and the quality time I am getting to spend with him.
My high school 1o year reunion is coming up. (t-7 days) There's a lot of emotions and anxiety coming along with it. We will see how this next week plays out. Excited about going, but anxious about the emotions.
This year also marks the 10 year anniversary of my mother's death. ooh, how it has hurt. I haven't said much to anyone about it, I've just tried to deal with it on my own. (certainly, not the best way. but everyone else has their own issues. so, i hate to bother someone as i sit in sob.)
Beach Vacation with my dad's family (enough said, right there)
And trust me there are a few other things on my mind, but I'll stop right there.
But at the same time, there's a lot good going on too.
Quality time with family (just the 3 of us)
Growing more in my faith and growing more as a person
Learning more about poeple, life, and how to handle situations
The thankfulness and gratefulness I have in my heart.
And so, that's what's goin on. More to come soon.
But I'll leave you with a little excerpt from the book I'm reading. (Can't give the title just yet, but it's some good stuff.)
"Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for."
Now, there's something to think about!
Melanie
I will try to elaborate a little more on each one of these in the days ahead. (No promises!) So, what's been going on?
You would think life would be footloose and fancy free right now since school is out. Well it gets stressful for me since I'm on a strict budget and I kick myself over and over for not saving like I said I would all year long. You would think I would learn, but this year, it hurts a little harder. I know what I've got to do, it's just a matter of doing it. (Trust me, I know I'm not the only one with this problem!)
Kaedyn has been home with us all summer. For those, that know me well...interesting, yes, I know! Everyone is still breathing, which is good. Kaedyn has only been to the sitter once since school got out. Shocker, huh? Now don't get me wrong, I love my boy (this I know for sure), but we haven't been with each other this much since the 6 weeks I was on maternity leave. And trust me, a lot has changed since then! Things get hectic, chaotic, nerve wracking, and overwhelming often. Some days are better than others. But deep breaths, my bathroom hideaway, and play dates have saved me a lot days this summer. But overall, I have enjoyed my "Good Morning wake ups", hugs, kisses, and the quality time I am getting to spend with him.
My high school 1o year reunion is coming up. (t-7 days) There's a lot of emotions and anxiety coming along with it. We will see how this next week plays out. Excited about going, but anxious about the emotions.
This year also marks the 10 year anniversary of my mother's death. ooh, how it has hurt. I haven't said much to anyone about it, I've just tried to deal with it on my own. (certainly, not the best way. but everyone else has their own issues. so, i hate to bother someone as i sit in sob.)
Beach Vacation with my dad's family (enough said, right there)
And trust me there are a few other things on my mind, but I'll stop right there.
But at the same time, there's a lot good going on too.
Quality time with family (just the 3 of us)
Growing more in my faith and growing more as a person
Learning more about poeple, life, and how to handle situations
The thankfulness and gratefulness I have in my heart.
And so, that's what's goin on. More to come soon.
But I'll leave you with a little excerpt from the book I'm reading. (Can't give the title just yet, but it's some good stuff.)
"Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for."
Now, there's something to think about!
Melanie
Oops, I did it again!
I think Brittany Spears said it best . . . ."Oops, I did it again!" Yup, I fell off my blogging horse, again. It's been a while. I haven't blogged at all during the month of July. (tisk, tisk) And of course, I could come with a million excuses, but they would simply be just that. . . excuses! So, I won't.
Nevertheless, I am just going to dust my self off, hold my head high, shoulders back, and jump on the saddle. (As much as I can today, with my little one and his 2 favorite girl cousins. It won't be long before I hear, "Mama" or "Auntie Melanie", nevertheless, it has been a blessing to have them here today.
Until the next post .... Ciao!
Melanie
Nevertheless, I am just going to dust my self off, hold my head high, shoulders back, and jump on the saddle. (As much as I can today, with my little one and his 2 favorite girl cousins. It won't be long before I hear, "Mama" or "Auntie Melanie", nevertheless, it has been a blessing to have them here today.
Until the next post .... Ciao!
Melanie
Thursday, June 30, 2011
52. I am blessed
And so, I told you when I started this a few weeks ago, that my list was a work in progress and that I would be adding more as I went a long. So, I didn't want to disappoint you! And so, I'm adding another one to the list that I forgot. I'm not so sure how I forgot this one, but I did. But before I get on with this one, I've got something I need to say . . . .
Sincerest apologies to my readers for the absence. For those of you who live vicariously (you know who you are) through me and those that enjoy reading my blogs I am truly grateful for you. Sorry for the break, I won't promise that it may never happen again, but I am back on the saddle again tonight (at least for tonight) and hope not to jump off anytime soon.
Ok, back to regular blogging post....
Well, this I know for sure . . . . . I am Blessed!
In a conversation with my bestie a few weeks I go I was venting about I enjoy being off for the summer, but how it places so much stress on me. (Don't ask . . . I know the summer is supposed to be relaxing and fun, but it can be just the opposite for me!) I hang up the phone and recap the conversation in my mind and God whispered to me, "Yeah, but Melanie, look how blessed you are!' And so after thinking about it for a few minutes it's like, "Yeah, Lord you are right! I am blessed! So blessed." And it is at that moment, I realized that all that other stuff didn't matter. So what I don't get to take Kaedyn to do all the fun things I would like for us to do this summer, but I am getting to spend a lot quality time with him this summer. So what I don't have money to go buy new clothes every weekend, but I have a closet full of clothes. So what, things aren't perfect, but I wake up with breath in my body! I've really had to remind myself how blessed I am lately. I know it sounds horrible, but sometimes we forget just how blessed we are. Not that we get greedy or complacent and want more, but sometimes just forget the little things to be thankful for.
These last few days have been a bit of a roller coaster for me, but I keep reminding myself of how blessed I am. God has blessed me and my family with a comfortable house. It's not a mansion, but it's a comfortable place in which we can laugh, smile, live, and spend quality time together. God has allowed me to further my education and get 2 degrees, and share my knowledge with others. He allows me to interact and reach the minds of students each and every day. I think it is so great that I get to learn with young minds and expose them to some of life's greatest wonders. (And teach them a thing or two!)
I've got a great boyfriend that loves me and when it comes down to the wire he is there to support me. I have a energetic 3 year old that is smart as a whip and showers me with hugs and kisses everyday. A sister and brother that let me make my decisions, but is there to be the big sister and brother that I need when I need it. Friends that always have a listening ear, a swift kick in the ass,reality, and a shoulder to cry on (or whatever I may need). What a great support system. I am so blessed to have an array of people in my life to help me along my journey in life
You know I may not have a lot to show off, to boast, or to brag about, but I am blessed. Blessed to have such good people and great experiences that teach me some of life's hardest lessons. So what I don't own my own company, have a expensive car, or make 6 figures a year. So what I'm not married, in a big house with a picket fence, and 2.5 kids. So what !!!! I have been abundantly blessed with all the things God wants me to have right now! (I'll have to remind myself of all of this in 30 days)
I could go on and on about how much God has blessed me, but I won't. I thank him for all of his goodness, mercy, and all the blessings he has bestowed upon me (big or small). I thank him for forgiving me time and time again and continually pushing me to become a better mother,person, and woman. You know all that other stuff is just not important sometimes, I am just so thankful for what I have now.
So, this I know for sure. . . . I am blessed!
Melanie
Sincerest apologies to my readers for the absence. For those of you who live vicariously (you know who you are) through me and those that enjoy reading my blogs I am truly grateful for you. Sorry for the break, I won't promise that it may never happen again, but I am back on the saddle again tonight (at least for tonight) and hope not to jump off anytime soon.
Ok, back to regular blogging post....
Well, this I know for sure . . . . . I am Blessed!
In a conversation with my bestie a few weeks I go I was venting about I enjoy being off for the summer, but how it places so much stress on me. (Don't ask . . . I know the summer is supposed to be relaxing and fun, but it can be just the opposite for me!) I hang up the phone and recap the conversation in my mind and God whispered to me, "Yeah, but Melanie, look how blessed you are!' And so after thinking about it for a few minutes it's like, "Yeah, Lord you are right! I am blessed! So blessed." And it is at that moment, I realized that all that other stuff didn't matter. So what I don't get to take Kaedyn to do all the fun things I would like for us to do this summer, but I am getting to spend a lot quality time with him this summer. So what I don't have money to go buy new clothes every weekend, but I have a closet full of clothes. So what, things aren't perfect, but I wake up with breath in my body! I've really had to remind myself how blessed I am lately. I know it sounds horrible, but sometimes we forget just how blessed we are. Not that we get greedy or complacent and want more, but sometimes just forget the little things to be thankful for.
These last few days have been a bit of a roller coaster for me, but I keep reminding myself of how blessed I am. God has blessed me and my family with a comfortable house. It's not a mansion, but it's a comfortable place in which we can laugh, smile, live, and spend quality time together. God has allowed me to further my education and get 2 degrees, and share my knowledge with others. He allows me to interact and reach the minds of students each and every day. I think it is so great that I get to learn with young minds and expose them to some of life's greatest wonders. (And teach them a thing or two!)
I've got a great boyfriend that loves me and when it comes down to the wire he is there to support me. I have a energetic 3 year old that is smart as a whip and showers me with hugs and kisses everyday. A sister and brother that let me make my decisions, but is there to be the big sister and brother that I need when I need it. Friends that always have a listening ear, a swift kick in the ass,reality, and a shoulder to cry on (or whatever I may need). What a great support system. I am so blessed to have an array of people in my life to help me along my journey in life
You know I may not have a lot to show off, to boast, or to brag about, but I am blessed. Blessed to have such good people and great experiences that teach me some of life's hardest lessons. So what I don't own my own company, have a expensive car, or make 6 figures a year. So what I'm not married, in a big house with a picket fence, and 2.5 kids. So what !!!! I have been abundantly blessed with all the things God wants me to have right now! (I'll have to remind myself of all of this in 30 days)
I could go on and on about how much God has blessed me, but I won't. I thank him for all of his goodness, mercy, and all the blessings he has bestowed upon me (big or small). I thank him for forgiving me time and time again and continually pushing me to become a better mother,person, and woman. You know all that other stuff is just not important sometimes, I am just so thankful for what I have now.
So, this I know for sure. . . . I am blessed!
Melanie
Monday, June 20, 2011
24. Words of Affrimation
I get a devotional delivered to my email each morning from Proverbs 31 Woman. I typically read it and mediate on it before I climb out of bed each morning, however I have kind of gotten away from it since school is out. And so, today's devotion I didn't read until about midday and I instantly made a connection (text - to - text, for all my school teacher peeps) to a book that I read not long ago, Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages. Nevertheless, the title of the devotion is "Words that Heal" and the focus scripture comes from Proverbs 18:21. The devotion goes on to talk about how a son wrote his father a inspirational letter upon his graduation from graduate school and it inspired the mother to write one to the child. The author goes on to write in the devotional that the muscle in the tongue is powerful, however the words that fall from the tongue is most powerful. The question is posed, "Why do we leave such precious words unsaid?" It says, "We often talk about the negative words we should hold back, but about the words what we can freely offer to those we care about."
This being said, I know that there are some things/words that affirm people. People love to hear when they are doing something right or when receive random acts of kindness, or is shown love and kindness for no reason, just because the giver wants to give those things. One of the biggest lies of all time is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" WRONG! Words will hurt, they do! They bruise, break, and can scar you for life if they are mean, hurtful, unappreciative, and demeaning. Although, kind words don't do those things. Kind, loving, thoughtful, beautiful words when spoken with conviction and sincerity don't do those things. In my opinion, it takes more energy to say something negative and hurtful than something kind and thoughtful. It took me a long time to realize that my best defense to someone that can't or won't speak kindly to me is to speak kind words to them. Now I may backslide from time to time (who doesn't), I think it is almost instinct to rebut in defensive way. But the best way for people to understand how I want them to treat me and speak to me is to give them an example. Yeah so what they say cruel/mean things, but that's their problem, not mine. (Matthew 12:36)
Words of affirmation are nothing more than verbal compliments that convey your love/care for someone. They can also be kind, encouraging, and humble words. So, what is it going to hurt, if you compliment someones shoes or how they look (as long as it is respectful). Or even complementing or acknowledging something they've done. It not only makes them feel good, but it will make you feel good when you see their reaction. And so, you've brightened two lives, yours and theirs.
After reading Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages", I learned that Words of Affirmation is my primary love language, with Quality Time following closely behind. Hearing positive, kind words really doing something for me. I feel loved, appreciated, and cared for and that means a lot to me. I am a person who puts a lot of thought and energy into things and people. So for someone to take time and energy to speak words of affirmation to me is monumental to me! And I think even more as a mother, it means so much. I think because we cook, clean, clean up, tend to the kids, sew, do all other Superwoman activities (lol), and be a partner, that we often feel unappreciated, overworked, underpaid, and plain and simple used. So to hear kind words like "You are a great mom!" or "That was a fantastic dinner." goes so far with moms. True and genuine words of affirmation certainly put a smile on my face and in my heart. Ever since reading, The 5 love languages I have consciously tried to speak more words of affirmation to all that I encounter. Whether it is a simple, "Thank you for doing ____________, that was really helpful" or "Girl, I really like those shoes!" It has not only helped me, but the look upon their face is often priceless. I am a giver and if I can simply give a compliment or affirm someone else, I feel that I have given them something that money can buy. Maybe my words have evoked a happy or feeling of gratitude/appreciation. I like how it makes me feel when I receive such kind words that I only can hope it does the same to those that I do it for.
Nevertheless, WORDS are IMPORTANT! And all too often words, you don't speak are just as important. But take time today, to speak words of affirmation to someone. It may be just what they need, and more importantly it may be just what you need.I am a firm believer in letting those you love and care for know just how important they are before it is too late. So,whether it be in a letter, a verbal compliment, a sweet little note you tape on the steering wheel of their car, go out of your way to speak words of affirmation to someone today. You will be amazed how it it makes you look and feel! Their is a healing power in words!
And so, this I know for sure . . . .Words do heal! Words are important! Words of Affirmation are essential!
Melanie
This being said, I know that there are some things/words that affirm people. People love to hear when they are doing something right or when receive random acts of kindness, or is shown love and kindness for no reason, just because the giver wants to give those things. One of the biggest lies of all time is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" WRONG! Words will hurt, they do! They bruise, break, and can scar you for life if they are mean, hurtful, unappreciative, and demeaning. Although, kind words don't do those things. Kind, loving, thoughtful, beautiful words when spoken with conviction and sincerity don't do those things. In my opinion, it takes more energy to say something negative and hurtful than something kind and thoughtful. It took me a long time to realize that my best defense to someone that can't or won't speak kindly to me is to speak kind words to them. Now I may backslide from time to time (who doesn't), I think it is almost instinct to rebut in defensive way. But the best way for people to understand how I want them to treat me and speak to me is to give them an example. Yeah so what they say cruel/mean things, but that's their problem, not mine. (Matthew 12:36)
Words of affirmation are nothing more than verbal compliments that convey your love/care for someone. They can also be kind, encouraging, and humble words. So, what is it going to hurt, if you compliment someones shoes or how they look (as long as it is respectful). Or even complementing or acknowledging something they've done. It not only makes them feel good, but it will make you feel good when you see their reaction. And so, you've brightened two lives, yours and theirs.
After reading Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages", I learned that Words of Affirmation is my primary love language, with Quality Time following closely behind. Hearing positive, kind words really doing something for me. I feel loved, appreciated, and cared for and that means a lot to me. I am a person who puts a lot of thought and energy into things and people. So for someone to take time and energy to speak words of affirmation to me is monumental to me! And I think even more as a mother, it means so much. I think because we cook, clean, clean up, tend to the kids, sew, do all other Superwoman activities (lol), and be a partner, that we often feel unappreciated, overworked, underpaid, and plain and simple used. So to hear kind words like "You are a great mom!" or "That was a fantastic dinner." goes so far with moms. True and genuine words of affirmation certainly put a smile on my face and in my heart. Ever since reading, The 5 love languages I have consciously tried to speak more words of affirmation to all that I encounter. Whether it is a simple, "Thank you for doing ____________, that was really helpful" or "Girl, I really like those shoes!" It has not only helped me, but the look upon their face is often priceless. I am a giver and if I can simply give a compliment or affirm someone else, I feel that I have given them something that money can buy. Maybe my words have evoked a happy or feeling of gratitude/appreciation. I like how it makes me feel when I receive such kind words that I only can hope it does the same to those that I do it for.
Nevertheless, WORDS are IMPORTANT! And all too often words, you don't speak are just as important. But take time today, to speak words of affirmation to someone. It may be just what they need, and more importantly it may be just what you need.I am a firm believer in letting those you love and care for know just how important they are before it is too late. So,whether it be in a letter, a verbal compliment, a sweet little note you tape on the steering wheel of their car, go out of your way to speak words of affirmation to someone today. You will be amazed how it it makes you look and feel! Their is a healing power in words!
And so, this I know for sure . . . .Words do heal! Words are important! Words of Affirmation are essential!
Melanie
Thursday, June 16, 2011
51. Life Goes On
And, so I guess I forgot one of the most important ones off my list a few days ago. It's the one that seems so cruel and so heartless, but it is true.... Life certainly does go on! No matter what happens, life goes on. I know it is cliche' and it seems like everyone quotes it, but think about it....Life does not stand still for anyone. And even if you are going through hell or think that your world is crumbling, if you look around you, everything else keeps moving. The world doesn't stop because you are having a 'moment' or shit seems real difficult.
I learned this lesson on my own when my mother died. The world didn't stop to grieve with me and my family, the world just kept going. And at the time, I didn't want it too. I wanted to go on life as usual. But as I began to grieve in my own way, I noticed that things didn't slow down. I still had to register for college, move into the dorm, and start my freshman year. All of the other incoming freshman, weren't having to deal with this. Life just kept going on. And so, I did likewise.
There have been times in which I wanted to celebrate and relish in the moment, but it didn't last long. Why? Because life goes on! We all have those moments that we want to cherish and we never want to end, whether it is late night strolls with a loved one in the park or holding a newborn baby, we just want the moment to last forever and we want to capture the feeling, bottle it, and open when necessary. We know that no matter how much we don't want it to end or how hard we try to savor the moment, it comes to an end as quick as it began (unfortunately), and life resumes its regular scheduled programming. Nevertheless, we can try to create the moments more often and cherish them when they present themselves.
And so, I don't say this to be mean or inconsiderate, but life goes on. I don't say it to undermine, what you are going through or feeling at the moment or even take the wind out of your sail. I am a firm believer that you must take care of your problems and acknowledge your emotions before the take a hold of you. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it just makes it pacifies the situation for a while. You have to exit the scene for a while to deal with and then jump back on the freeway of life when you are ready. And while you on the side streets for a while, rest assure, life will still be speeding by. Proceed with caution and join in when you are ready, but don't wait too long, because life will certainly pass you by if you do! And if it is a happy moment, close your eyes and cherish every second it. Because moments like that are worth treasuring forever!
Robert Frost said it best, " In three words, I can sum up everything I learned about life -- it goes on!"
And so, this I know for sure. . . . Life goes on!
I learned this lesson on my own when my mother died. The world didn't stop to grieve with me and my family, the world just kept going. And at the time, I didn't want it too. I wanted to go on life as usual. But as I began to grieve in my own way, I noticed that things didn't slow down. I still had to register for college, move into the dorm, and start my freshman year. All of the other incoming freshman, weren't having to deal with this. Life just kept going on. And so, I did likewise.
There have been times in which I wanted to celebrate and relish in the moment, but it didn't last long. Why? Because life goes on! We all have those moments that we want to cherish and we never want to end, whether it is late night strolls with a loved one in the park or holding a newborn baby, we just want the moment to last forever and we want to capture the feeling, bottle it, and open when necessary. We know that no matter how much we don't want it to end or how hard we try to savor the moment, it comes to an end as quick as it began (unfortunately), and life resumes its regular scheduled programming. Nevertheless, we can try to create the moments more often and cherish them when they present themselves.
And so, I don't say this to be mean or inconsiderate, but life goes on. I don't say it to undermine, what you are going through or feeling at the moment or even take the wind out of your sail. I am a firm believer that you must take care of your problems and acknowledge your emotions before the take a hold of you. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it just makes it pacifies the situation for a while. You have to exit the scene for a while to deal with and then jump back on the freeway of life when you are ready. And while you on the side streets for a while, rest assure, life will still be speeding by. Proceed with caution and join in when you are ready, but don't wait too long, because life will certainly pass you by if you do! And if it is a happy moment, close your eyes and cherish every second it. Because moments like that are worth treasuring forever!
Robert Frost said it best, " In three words, I can sum up everything I learned about life -- it goes on!"
And so, this I know for sure. . . . Life goes on!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
A little combination #6 & #20
#20 I like to travel and see the wonders of the world.
Well, tonight's post is a bit of a combination. Combination of #6 & #20. I am somewhat combining them in my own kind of way. I always strive to come up with different and thoughtful gifts for any holiday. With Father's Day around the corner, it certainly wasn't any differnent. I am a very thoughtful gift giver, I always start thinking months ahead and try not to give the same gift twice! Well, this year I decided to surprise La'Quindon with a trip to Charleston/Summerville to a restaurant (Logan's Steakhouse) he raved about years ago before we had Kaedyn. And so, for weeks now, I've been trying to plot, plan, and figure out how to get him to the low country and surprise him. However, the surprise part didn't work. Oh well! La'Quindon's schedule is so busy and so surprising him just wasn't gonna happen. It's the thought that counts, right? (At least, that's what I have to tell myself! I'm so ticked I couldn't pull it off, though!)
So, I'm hoping tomorrow we are able to make a little day trip down 26 to da' Chuck. I'm really excited about having a nice adult dinner and see what all the talk is about. I know it's been over 4 years ago, when his boss took him there, and he's always wanted to go back. This is least I can do for him, considering he is a great dad to Kaedyn. I hope he enjoys the trip and dinner at Logan's. I am looking forward to traveling and a nice adult dinner. Nevertheless, I love him dearly. And even though no gift or dinner could ever express my gratitude for the best gift ever, Kaedyn, I whole heartedly try to show just how grateful that God chose him to give me Kaedyn.
Fingers crossed, he likes it! (I guess, confirmation of #6 will depend of it all goes well, huh? Fingers crossed again!)
And so, this I know for sure... I am a good girlfriend and I love to travel.
Melanie
As for a little update...This didn't happen. A week or so later, I found out why. At least I can say I try.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
7. My grandparents have played a tremendous role in my life
My family structure is very simple, yet unique. Let me put it this way, it was typical until I was grown and now, unique best describes it. My mother was 12th of 13 children, and the youngest girl. 10 boys and 3 girls, and a whole lotta cousins probably would describe that clan. My dad, however, exact opposite, only child, few cousins, small, quaint, and conservative. Growing up, my paternal grandparents stayed next door then across the street from us, so I saw them on a daily basis. My maternal grandmother passed away before me or my sister was born, and my maternal grandfather passed away when I was 8.
Being that, I saw my paternal grandparents daily, they had a great impact on my life. Not to say that maternal grandparents did not. I just simply have more memories and life lessons from them. My paternal grandma is still living and is still very active. She taught school for over 50 years (including substituting) and is one of my inspirations for entering into the teaching profession. She is always fair and just, and is a fearless woman of God. I admire her strength and her big heart. She is always so willing to share and give anything that she can if she has it.
I was so close to my grandaddy. I was a "Grandaddy's girl" for sure. Spoiled rotten didn't begin to describe the relationship we had. I would have anything that I wanted. For so long, you couldn't tell me I wasn't his favorite, but I later learned that he a had a personal connection with all of us. Granddaddy taught me so much about life and a few choice words too! He taught me it's the simple things that really make you happy. (Sort of like, the cone of ice cream he would get me from Chapin Pharmacy or Eaglet Corner on our ice cream runs!) He also taught me that being there was just as important. I will never forget the day I went to try for my license. He was sick (I'm sure it was Stage 4 lung cancer, by then) and couldn't drive. He got his friend to drive him to the DMV where they surprised me as I sat nervously waiting on the driver inspector to come out. They pulled up, blowed the horn at me, and motioned for me to roll the window down. He told me I would do fine and that he would be waiting when I got back. And they were, I failed by a few points (yeah, uh huh!), but he reassured me we would work on it when we got back home. And so we did He was sick and feeble, but rode around with me for days, making me practice parallel parking. I went back a few days later, and the same thing happened. He and his friend pulled up. I got a thumbs up and a big grin. I came back with a reflection of that grin. I was so happy, I had passed my drivers test, and he was too. I thanked him for being there for me, and I'll never forget what he said to me, "I wouldn't have been anywhere else in the world." I got home and later that evening I drove him to his sickly sisters house right down the road. We stayed for hours and I didn't complain. On the two minute drive home, he told me how proud he was of me and that he knew I would be alright. I had my driver's license and was well on my way to finishing high school. He told me never let anyone take those 2 pieces of paper away from me. He told me he wasn't gonna be around forever, but he would always be with me. Weeks passed and it wasn't long before he passed away. My heart was heavy, but I knew he was in a better place. Everyone kept a watchful eye on me, because they didn't know how it would effect me. The night, I graduated from high school, I had his picture safety pinned in my graduation gown. My mother checked behind me to make sure I had everything. She went to fuss and ask, "What is that you are trying to sneak out of here?" (I'm sure that is what she was thinking, I never tried to sneak out btw), She opened it saw his picture and handed me my robe with tears in her eyes. I told her, " He had to be there closest to my heart." She didn't argue with me, just gave me a hug and sent me on my way. There were moments and times that I still carry his picture with me. I know that he is proud of me and my accomplishments. I know he would be so in love with Kaedyn if he were here too!
My grandparents have taught me to have an open heart and to love everyone. Being there is important and that opposites really do attract. My grandaddy taught me how to stand up for myself and to make sure that people know you mean business. My grandmother taught me how to be gentle and loving. Nevertheless, they all have taught me so much.
What I know for sure. . . . My grandparents have impacted my life tremendously.
Being that, I saw my paternal grandparents daily, they had a great impact on my life. Not to say that maternal grandparents did not. I just simply have more memories and life lessons from them. My paternal grandma is still living and is still very active. She taught school for over 50 years (including substituting) and is one of my inspirations for entering into the teaching profession. She is always fair and just, and is a fearless woman of God. I admire her strength and her big heart. She is always so willing to share and give anything that she can if she has it.
I was so close to my grandaddy. I was a "Grandaddy's girl" for sure. Spoiled rotten didn't begin to describe the relationship we had. I would have anything that I wanted. For so long, you couldn't tell me I wasn't his favorite, but I later learned that he a had a personal connection with all of us. Granddaddy taught me so much about life and a few choice words too! He taught me it's the simple things that really make you happy. (Sort of like, the cone of ice cream he would get me from Chapin Pharmacy or Eaglet Corner on our ice cream runs!) He also taught me that being there was just as important. I will never forget the day I went to try for my license. He was sick (I'm sure it was Stage 4 lung cancer, by then) and couldn't drive. He got his friend to drive him to the DMV where they surprised me as I sat nervously waiting on the driver inspector to come out. They pulled up, blowed the horn at me, and motioned for me to roll the window down. He told me I would do fine and that he would be waiting when I got back. And they were, I failed by a few points (yeah, uh huh!), but he reassured me we would work on it when we got back home. And so we did He was sick and feeble, but rode around with me for days, making me practice parallel parking. I went back a few days later, and the same thing happened. He and his friend pulled up. I got a thumbs up and a big grin. I came back with a reflection of that grin. I was so happy, I had passed my drivers test, and he was too. I thanked him for being there for me, and I'll never forget what he said to me, "I wouldn't have been anywhere else in the world." I got home and later that evening I drove him to his sickly sisters house right down the road. We stayed for hours and I didn't complain. On the two minute drive home, he told me how proud he was of me and that he knew I would be alright. I had my driver's license and was well on my way to finishing high school. He told me never let anyone take those 2 pieces of paper away from me. He told me he wasn't gonna be around forever, but he would always be with me. Weeks passed and it wasn't long before he passed away. My heart was heavy, but I knew he was in a better place. Everyone kept a watchful eye on me, because they didn't know how it would effect me. The night, I graduated from high school, I had his picture safety pinned in my graduation gown. My mother checked behind me to make sure I had everything. She went to fuss and ask, "What is that you are trying to sneak out of here?" (I'm sure that is what she was thinking, I never tried to sneak out btw), She opened it saw his picture and handed me my robe with tears in her eyes. I told her, " He had to be there closest to my heart." She didn't argue with me, just gave me a hug and sent me on my way. There were moments and times that I still carry his picture with me. I know that he is proud of me and my accomplishments. I know he would be so in love with Kaedyn if he were here too!
My grandparents have taught me to have an open heart and to love everyone. Being there is important and that opposites really do attract. My grandaddy taught me how to stand up for myself and to make sure that people know you mean business. My grandmother taught me how to be gentle and loving. Nevertheless, they all have taught me so much.
What I know for sure. . . . My grandparents have impacted my life tremendously.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
3. I am a great mom
What I know for sure.... I am a great mom!
On Sept 18th, 2007, God blessed me and La'Quindon with a beautiful baby boy. I was terrified, scared, and an emotional wreck. At the time, I wouldn't admit it or even show it for that matter. Anytime, I set out to do something, I try to give it my all. And having Kaedyn certainly wasn't any different. I promised my baby boy the day we left the hospital, that I would be the best mama in the world to him and I would always be there for him. That is a promise that I have taken seriously and will continue to as long as I live.
Motherhood has been a journey and has taught me a lot about life. I've learned I can't do it all, and sometimes it is okay to ask for help. I've also learned that the end of the day, none of that other stuff doesn't matter.
I participated in a small Bible study group last year, that helped me grow a lot as a person. We studied the book of Ephesians. I remember a particular session in which we talked about how God had blessed each of us with children and what was our take on it (or something to this effect). I remember sharing with the group that I felt proud and honored that God chose me as the vessel in which Kaedyn was brought into the world. Words can't express how awesome that I feel that God chose me to be his mother. What an awesome responsibilty. I keep reminding myself of that each and everytime I someone critizes my parenting or discipline methods. I mean, God trusted me to be his mother. The woman who teaches, nutures, and encourages him. You know he could have trusted this responsibility to anyone else, but he entrusted it to me. So, he trusts and thinks that I am the best mother for this child. My heart gets overwhelmed just thinking about it. I really am thankful for all the poeple God has put in his life. His father, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone all play a vital role in shaping him into a great young man and productive citizen.
One of the other things on my list is "My mother was one of the greatest women who walked this Earth." Well, I say that for so many reasons. Probably one of the most important was that she taught me how to be a mother. Motherhood has been somewhat of a journey for me, because my mother is not here for me to seek advice and counsel in raising Kaedyn. Childbirth was difficult, but I knew my mother's presence was there. The late, sleepless, lonely nights and times when I felt like there was no hope and things would never get better, I knew she was there. And as time has gone on, I know she is there. It gets so difficult when you wanna pick up the phone and call your mama to ask her a question or share all the cute things they do as the grow up. But I know that she is in heaven smiling down upon us. I know she would be head over heels about Kaedyn and he would love him just as much as everyone does down here.
Being a mom is a tough job. I learned that one very early on. I vowed that no matter what happened that Kaedyn would be a priority and that he would know that he was a priority. I feel it is very important that Kae is raised in a home that is loving, respectful, and truly understands, acknowledges, and takes everyones feelings and emotions into consideration. Some say I am too easy on him and that I baby him too much. But I want him to be know the difference between emotions and know that as a male it is okay to express them. I see the product in the kids I teach and often their parents when poeple deny their feelings. I see the product when children are reared in a loving home and when respect isn't present. I don't want that for my child. I him to have better and I want him to know better. I'm in no way trying to make him a punk or a sissy (as some have said), I just want him to be well rounded. It is as just as important as being well mannered, smart, outgoing, or whatever avenue he decides to take in life. Parenting is tough, because you don't always get reward instanteous. But I keep reminding myself, that it is no different than life. You do the best you can, with what you got, with where you are now. Who is say that my way is wrong and theirs is right. I strongly believe that the decisions I make in regards to my child are in his best interest. Now 10, 20 years down the road, things I have done and said may be deemed as cruel and unhumaine (I doubt it!), but we live and we learn....and I'm doing the best I can!
There are moments in which I am proud of my Kaedyn. Like Sunday, he sung at church in front of a packed auidence. My baby sung his heart out.... "This is the day that the Lord has made" It brought tears to my eyes. (doesn't take much these days) I just know that God has a special annointing over him! He makes me so proud and that big ole' grin is is just PRICELESS! Now, I won't paint a perfect picture as if he doesn't chide my hide sometimes, but I know that comes along with growing up and testing the boundaries.
Someone asked me once, what the most important thing I can could give my child. My response, was my time! Time is precious and can never be replaced. Time is probably one of life's greatest resources and one of things taken for granted most. I make every effort to spend as much quality time with Kaedyn as possible. Whether it is riding his bike out in the street, tickle fights, dance parties, or taking him to the 'green store' (B&N), I try to make sure that he understands that although there is a lot going on in the world, sometimes it is the little things that is important. I certainly hope that he remembers all the time we spend together and is able to carry that on with his own children one day. I am certainly not a rich woman, and I don't have a lot to offer, but I can give him my time and love. Both of which, I have a ton of!
So, I may not be a stay - at -home that fixes homecooked meals three times a day, keeps the house spotless, Claire Huxtable, June Cleaver, or even Roseanne, but I am a mama who is taking it one day at a time and doing the best I can. I pray that God continues to continues to strengthen me and guide me in the right direction as Kaedyn's mom. I pray that he also continues to strengthen everyone else in his life so they may be postive role models for him as well.
One thing, I know for sure . . . . I am a great mom!
On Sept 18th, 2007, God blessed me and La'Quindon with a beautiful baby boy. I was terrified, scared, and an emotional wreck. At the time, I wouldn't admit it or even show it for that matter. Anytime, I set out to do something, I try to give it my all. And having Kaedyn certainly wasn't any different. I promised my baby boy the day we left the hospital, that I would be the best mama in the world to him and I would always be there for him. That is a promise that I have taken seriously and will continue to as long as I live.
Motherhood has been a journey and has taught me a lot about life. I've learned I can't do it all, and sometimes it is okay to ask for help. I've also learned that the end of the day, none of that other stuff doesn't matter.
I participated in a small Bible study group last year, that helped me grow a lot as a person. We studied the book of Ephesians. I remember a particular session in which we talked about how God had blessed each of us with children and what was our take on it (or something to this effect). I remember sharing with the group that I felt proud and honored that God chose me as the vessel in which Kaedyn was brought into the world. Words can't express how awesome that I feel that God chose me to be his mother. What an awesome responsibilty. I keep reminding myself of that each and everytime I someone critizes my parenting or discipline methods. I mean, God trusted me to be his mother. The woman who teaches, nutures, and encourages him. You know he could have trusted this responsibility to anyone else, but he entrusted it to me. So, he trusts and thinks that I am the best mother for this child. My heart gets overwhelmed just thinking about it. I really am thankful for all the poeple God has put in his life. His father, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone all play a vital role in shaping him into a great young man and productive citizen.
One of the other things on my list is "My mother was one of the greatest women who walked this Earth." Well, I say that for so many reasons. Probably one of the most important was that she taught me how to be a mother. Motherhood has been somewhat of a journey for me, because my mother is not here for me to seek advice and counsel in raising Kaedyn. Childbirth was difficult, but I knew my mother's presence was there. The late, sleepless, lonely nights and times when I felt like there was no hope and things would never get better, I knew she was there. And as time has gone on, I know she is there. It gets so difficult when you wanna pick up the phone and call your mama to ask her a question or share all the cute things they do as the grow up. But I know that she is in heaven smiling down upon us. I know she would be head over heels about Kaedyn and he would love him just as much as everyone does down here.
Being a mom is a tough job. I learned that one very early on. I vowed that no matter what happened that Kaedyn would be a priority and that he would know that he was a priority. I feel it is very important that Kae is raised in a home that is loving, respectful, and truly understands, acknowledges, and takes everyones feelings and emotions into consideration. Some say I am too easy on him and that I baby him too much. But I want him to be know the difference between emotions and know that as a male it is okay to express them. I see the product in the kids I teach and often their parents when poeple deny their feelings. I see the product when children are reared in a loving home and when respect isn't present. I don't want that for my child. I him to have better and I want him to know better. I'm in no way trying to make him a punk or a sissy (as some have said), I just want him to be well rounded. It is as just as important as being well mannered, smart, outgoing, or whatever avenue he decides to take in life. Parenting is tough, because you don't always get reward instanteous. But I keep reminding myself, that it is no different than life. You do the best you can, with what you got, with where you are now. Who is say that my way is wrong and theirs is right. I strongly believe that the decisions I make in regards to my child are in his best interest. Now 10, 20 years down the road, things I have done and said may be deemed as cruel and unhumaine (I doubt it!), but we live and we learn....and I'm doing the best I can!
There are moments in which I am proud of my Kaedyn. Like Sunday, he sung at church in front of a packed auidence. My baby sung his heart out.... "This is the day that the Lord has made" It brought tears to my eyes. (doesn't take much these days) I just know that God has a special annointing over him! He makes me so proud and that big ole' grin is is just PRICELESS! Now, I won't paint a perfect picture as if he doesn't chide my hide sometimes, but I know that comes along with growing up and testing the boundaries.
Someone asked me once, what the most important thing I can could give my child. My response, was my time! Time is precious and can never be replaced. Time is probably one of life's greatest resources and one of things taken for granted most. I make every effort to spend as much quality time with Kaedyn as possible. Whether it is riding his bike out in the street, tickle fights, dance parties, or taking him to the 'green store' (B&N), I try to make sure that he understands that although there is a lot going on in the world, sometimes it is the little things that is important. I certainly hope that he remembers all the time we spend together and is able to carry that on with his own children one day. I am certainly not a rich woman, and I don't have a lot to offer, but I can give him my time and love. Both of which, I have a ton of!
So, I may not be a stay - at -home that fixes homecooked meals three times a day, keeps the house spotless, Claire Huxtable, June Cleaver, or even Roseanne, but I am a mama who is taking it one day at a time and doing the best I can. I pray that God continues to continues to strengthen me and guide me in the right direction as Kaedyn's mom. I pray that he also continues to strengthen everyone else in his life so they may be postive role models for him as well.
One thing, I know for sure . . . . I am a great mom!
Friday, June 10, 2011
I am a child of God
Well, this I know for sure..... I am a child of God.
Over the last few years, I have relied on my faith more than ever before. I gave my life to Christ as a teenager at my home church, Fellowship Baptist. I never knew that my journey as a Christian would be full of ups and downs, but I learned early on that I had to have faith. I didn't know exactly what that meant, but it seems like I tucked it away and when I needed it, there it was. The interesting part of my walk with God is that, you never know what to do..He does! So it's like, I go 'round and 'round about what I should, trying to think of how each option/avenue will work out and then I remember that I've got to let go and let God take control. It's becoming a little easier for me, but it is always a work in progress. I am a person that likes control and to know what's the plan, but with God I don't always know. I am becoming more and more comfortable with it. But it certainly has sparked a bit of a personality change in me. I am a little more laidback, a lot less controlling, more go with the flow, and not needing to be so involved.
I know that I am a child of God, because there is no other person that could have done the things he has done for me. I have been in some pretty tough situations, felt hopeless, despair, and really wanting to give it all up... but I know there is only one person capable of holding my hand and bringing me back.
Sometime ago, I told some poeple I wanted to develop a closer relationship with God. He must have heard me, because things began happening instantly. It is so true that if you won't to heal your relationship with others, you must first have a relationship with God. (this I know is true too!) So, things began to happen rather quickly and I began to draw nearer to him. And since then, all of my relationships with others have been brought more to the limelight. Now, I certainly don't think that my relationship with God is what it needs to be, but it is certainly on a path to getting where it needs to be. The most difficult part, for me has been dealing with others as they adjust to me. (Don't get me wrong, I don't mean this in a good or bad way)
In my time of getting closer to God, I've learned so much about myself, gained a greater confidence about myself, actions, and my relationship with others. It has made me more humble and geninue, patient, forgiving, and most of all LOVING.
So, this I know for sure.....I am a child of God! Because nobody loves me like he does!
Melanie
Over the last few years, I have relied on my faith more than ever before. I gave my life to Christ as a teenager at my home church, Fellowship Baptist. I never knew that my journey as a Christian would be full of ups and downs, but I learned early on that I had to have faith. I didn't know exactly what that meant, but it seems like I tucked it away and when I needed it, there it was. The interesting part of my walk with God is that, you never know what to do..He does! So it's like, I go 'round and 'round about what I should, trying to think of how each option/avenue will work out and then I remember that I've got to let go and let God take control. It's becoming a little easier for me, but it is always a work in progress. I am a person that likes control and to know what's the plan, but with God I don't always know. I am becoming more and more comfortable with it. But it certainly has sparked a bit of a personality change in me. I am a little more laidback, a lot less controlling, more go with the flow, and not needing to be so involved.
I know that I am a child of God, because there is no other person that could have done the things he has done for me. I have been in some pretty tough situations, felt hopeless, despair, and really wanting to give it all up... but I know there is only one person capable of holding my hand and bringing me back.
Sometime ago, I told some poeple I wanted to develop a closer relationship with God. He must have heard me, because things began happening instantly. It is so true that if you won't to heal your relationship with others, you must first have a relationship with God. (this I know is true too!) So, things began to happen rather quickly and I began to draw nearer to him. And since then, all of my relationships with others have been brought more to the limelight. Now, I certainly don't think that my relationship with God is what it needs to be, but it is certainly on a path to getting where it needs to be. The most difficult part, for me has been dealing with others as they adjust to me. (Don't get me wrong, I don't mean this in a good or bad way)
In my time of getting closer to God, I've learned so much about myself, gained a greater confidence about myself, actions, and my relationship with others. It has made me more humble and geninue, patient, forgiving, and most of all LOVING.
So, this I know for sure.....I am a child of God! Because nobody loves me like he does!
Melanie
Things I Know For Sure {the list}
Things I Know For Sure (as of 6/10/2011)
And, so here it is...what I know for sure. Not in any particular order and certainly not complete. But it is a work in progress..... Isn't life? And if you are thinking no, You're wrong. (sorry to break it to ya that way, but you are.)
Melanie
- I am a child of God.
- I am beautiful (inside and out).
- I am a great mom.
- My mama was the best woman that walked this Earth.
- I am a daughter of two parents that have taught me more about life and relationships than I could have ever imagined.
I am a terrific girlfriend.That's what I thought, but I'm not so sure of this anymore.)- My grandparents have played a terrific impact on my life.
- I am a sister.
- I miss my mama and grandaddy more and more each day.
- I have matured on so many levels. More than I think some of my peers.
- I am a friend.
- What comes around, goes around.
- I am a teacher.
- There is Power in his Word.
- What goes up, must come down.
- Almost doesn't count.
- Scripture is spiritual food.
- What a friend we have in Jesus.
- I am an organizer/planner (in my own way).
- I love to travel and see the wonders of the world.
- My past experiences shape the person I am.
- I deserve . . . .
- There are truly 5 love languages. (Read Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages)
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time is important
- I am grateful for EVERYTHING
- I have goals in my life that I would like to obtain.
- I have 30 year old fears.
- My relationship with my family is ..... um, interesting.
- I am all about RECIPROCITY.
- Do unto others, as you would like them to do unto you. (COURTESY)
- Timeliness/Promptness
- Variety is the spice of life.
- Sayings that really make me feel some kinda way ("Playing house")
- Things that irritate me.
- Kaedyn's future
- I am not perfect
- God loves me, in spite of it all.
- "If you want the rose, you have to put up with the thorns"
- What someone did to you in your past, has no power over your future.
- Worrying is useless.
- Getting angry doesn't change anything.
- Everyday is chance to start over.
- Trouble don't last always.
- God is in control.
- Forgiveness is key.
- Sometimes you can't right your wrongs.
- If they love you, they'll stick around.
- No matter what, be true to yourself.
- No matter where life leads, God is right there with you.
And, so here it is...what I know for sure. Not in any particular order and certainly not complete. But it is a work in progress..... Isn't life? And if you are thinking no, You're wrong. (sorry to break it to ya that way, but you are.)
Melanie
Here we go.....
So, over the past few weeks I have felt a strong sense of God working through me. People close to me have said I've seemed distant, 'anti-social', not myself, and very quiet. All of which is somewhat true. I have been. Not purposely, but because I've heard this voice say, "No Melanie, come talk with me for a while." I have had some pretty frank conversations with God lately and each time I can feel his spirit and his presence around me. It's amazing what the spirit of God can do to you. And so from these conversations, I've talked about my past and things I've learned and even more so he planted this seed in my spirit one day. Confirmation came through the Oprah show one afternoon, and again through her magazine and website I saw in days to come. I continued to think about it in my head, but I just felt the need to outwardly express it. I didn't know in what avenue I should or if I should give birth to this 'baby'. I toiled with myself and finally I recalled, a project I started long ago...my blog, "Something New". My distance and quietness have also allowed me to see more about myself as a person and reflect upon the things that take place around me.
Welp, "Something New" ended as quick as it started. I had two posts and that was it. Thought it was cool and something I wanted to pursue. But now that I begin this one I feel God saying to me, "Melanie, it just wasn't the right time." And so, I jump back on it again, hoping that this time will be different. And, I think it will be. For the simple fact that one I've spent a great deal of time talking with myself and the Lord about this new venture. (He said, in all things put ME first, and I will direct your paths!) Secondly, because secretly writing is something I love to do. (to some degree). I enjoy writing about my thoughts and feelings. Nothing, I've ever told anyone, and I doubt anyone really knows about me. Third, I so feel like I am growing through this. I mentioned earlier, that I have been somewhat distant and in my own world, I certainly feel the presence of God working through me, but I also feel that I am growing as a person. I am starting to put together and discover some of life's most important lessons, and beginning to value and treasure life so much more. I have a great sense of joy and happiness lately. At one time, I use to think that everything had to be perfect and you always had to have a smile on your face to be happy, and now I know that that isn't the case. I am so thankful that God is putting me through this. I don't know what the plan is, but I'm ready for whatever you have in store, Lord! I thank him for the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, and everything in between, because I am learning so much. I am happy, joyful, and blessed beyond belief and I hope it doesn't stop anytime soon! :-)
I say all this to say, that my experiences, relationships, and everyday interactions have helped me to compile my list of things I know for sure. I've been jotting them down as I think of them and wrap my mind around things. So, as of now, I have a list of nearly 50. (Yeah, uh huh!) But one thing that I know for sure, is that this list will continue to grow. Because the day you stop learning, should be the day you die. And, so I will add to it as I continue to live my life. My plan as of yet, is to publish my nearly 50 list and begin going through them daily. Now, some days may have more than others, and some days may have less. I may jump around on my list or add to sometimes, who knows. It's wherever my thoughts, my heart, and my Lord take me.
Lastly, I would like to thank my best friend, Nia, for encouraging me to take this on. She's a one in a million friend, for sure! I am so thankful that God put her in my life. We met in college and have remained friends through it all! She is always there when I need her. Whether it is a stern talking to, a listening ear, and swift kick in the ass, someone to put me in my place, or a shoulder to cry on. She is always there with whatever I need. She often knows what I need before I need or knows exactly how I feel. I thank God for her and providing her with the wisdom and knowledge that she possess. I dedicate this post to her tonight, not only because she is my best friend, but because it's her birthday! I love you, Nia! Thanks for being the best friend a girl could ever want. Thank you for continually sharpening me . . . . Just as iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another (Proverbs 27:17)
Welp, "Something New" ended as quick as it started. I had two posts and that was it. Thought it was cool and something I wanted to pursue. But now that I begin this one I feel God saying to me, "Melanie, it just wasn't the right time." And so, I jump back on it again, hoping that this time will be different. And, I think it will be. For the simple fact that one I've spent a great deal of time talking with myself and the Lord about this new venture. (He said, in all things put ME first, and I will direct your paths!) Secondly, because secretly writing is something I love to do. (to some degree). I enjoy writing about my thoughts and feelings. Nothing, I've ever told anyone, and I doubt anyone really knows about me. Third, I so feel like I am growing through this. I mentioned earlier, that I have been somewhat distant and in my own world, I certainly feel the presence of God working through me, but I also feel that I am growing as a person. I am starting to put together and discover some of life's most important lessons, and beginning to value and treasure life so much more. I have a great sense of joy and happiness lately. At one time, I use to think that everything had to be perfect and you always had to have a smile on your face to be happy, and now I know that that isn't the case. I am so thankful that God is putting me through this. I don't know what the plan is, but I'm ready for whatever you have in store, Lord! I thank him for the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, and everything in between, because I am learning so much. I am happy, joyful, and blessed beyond belief and I hope it doesn't stop anytime soon! :-)
I say all this to say, that my experiences, relationships, and everyday interactions have helped me to compile my list of things I know for sure. I've been jotting them down as I think of them and wrap my mind around things. So, as of now, I have a list of nearly 50. (Yeah, uh huh!) But one thing that I know for sure, is that this list will continue to grow. Because the day you stop learning, should be the day you die. And, so I will add to it as I continue to live my life. My plan as of yet, is to publish my nearly 50 list and begin going through them daily. Now, some days may have more than others, and some days may have less. I may jump around on my list or add to sometimes, who knows. It's wherever my thoughts, my heart, and my Lord take me.
Lastly, I would like to thank my best friend, Nia, for encouraging me to take this on. She's a one in a million friend, for sure! I am so thankful that God put her in my life. We met in college and have remained friends through it all! She is always there when I need her. Whether it is a stern talking to, a listening ear, and swift kick in the ass, someone to put me in my place, or a shoulder to cry on. She is always there with whatever I need. She often knows what I need before I need or knows exactly how I feel. I thank God for her and providing her with the wisdom and knowledge that she possess. I dedicate this post to her tonight, not only because she is my best friend, but because it's her birthday! I love you, Nia! Thanks for being the best friend a girl could ever want. Thank you for continually sharpening me . . . . Just as iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another (Proverbs 27:17)
Melanie
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